#214 - Emotions are Unmet Needs in Coaching

Oct 06, 2025

Have you ever paused to ask yourself what your emotions are really trying to tell you?

In this episode, we explore one of the most transformative principles in emotional coaching:

the idea that emotions are unmet needs.

This concept reshapes how we relate to our inner experiences, moving from seeing emotions as random or inconvenient to viewing them as valuable signposts guiding us toward greater self-understanding and balance.

As we reflect on this principle, we’re reminded of how often our emotions offer insight into something deeper, such as a need for safety, connection, clarity, or growth. When we shift from judging our emotions to becoming curious about them, we begin to uncover their hidden wisdom. That curiosity is where transformation begins, both for ourselves and for our coaching clients.

In our conversation, we explore what happens when we approach emotions not as problems to fix but as messages to interpret. We discuss how naming emotions helps to release their intensity and how exploring the need beneath them invites self-compassion and meaningful action. Sometimes that insight can be profound, and at other times beautifully simple, like realising that nervousness before a meeting might be calling for preparation time or reassurance.

This approach creates space for honesty and courage. Many clients have never been asked, “What does that feeling need?” Giving permission to express an unmet need, whether for clarity, respect, or support, can be profoundly healing. When we help clients identify and articulate those needs, we empower them to take small, grounded steps that lead to significant change.

We also explore how this principle connects to values, beliefs, and goals, which together form the four core pillars of coaching. Unmet needs often sit at the intersection of values and emotions, revealing what truly matters to each individual. When clients begin to interpret their emotions as meaningful signals rather than irrational responses, their relationship with themselves transforms. They move from feeling controlled by emotions to feeling more in control because of them.

Ultimately, this principle is not only a coaching tool but a life skill. By listening to our emotions and recognising what is missing, we nurture emotional intelligence, deepen self-awareness, and create a more compassionate relationship with ourselves and others.

Timestamps:

00:28 - Understanding emotions as unmet needs
01:21 - Common examples of emotions signalling deeper needs
02:20 - Using curiosity to step outside the emotional experience
03:19 - How curiosity dissipates emotional intensity
04:33 - The power of expressing unmet needs in coaching
06:00 - Moving from judgment to understanding
07:29 - Bringing lightness and simplicity to emotions work
08:27 - The three steps of emotions coaching in practice
10:21 - Applying the principle to coaching preparation
11:15 - Linking emotions to values, beliefs, and goals
12:44 - Turning emotional awareness into action and growth
13:39 - Helping clients feel more in control of emotions
15:06 - The ripple effect of emotional awareness in coaching practice
16:00 - Learning more through the Emotions Coaching Practitioner programme

Key Lessons Learned:

Emotions are valuable messages that reveal unmet needs rather than random feelings.
Curiosity helps create distance from emotional intensity and opens access to insight.
Asking “What does this feeling need?” empowers clients to name and meet their needs.
Emotional exploration is both deep and light, transformative yet practical.
Linking emotions to values and beliefs creates powerful coaching breakthroughs.
Emotional awareness builds self-regulation, confidence, and compassion.
Naming emotions and identifying needs enhances client agency and resilience.
The principle of unmet needs applies to both coaching and everyday life.
Emotional literacy helps shift from reactivity to reflection.
This work creates a ripple effect of personal and professional transformation.

Keywords:

emotional coaching, unmet needs, coaching practice, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, values-based coaching, emotions in coaching, emotional literacy, coaching psychology, curiosity in coaching,

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