Is Coaching Who You Are or What You Do?
Nov 17, 2025Have you ever wondered whether coaching is something you do or something you are?
In this episode, we dive into a powerful identity-based question that often emerges when people consider a future in coaching: is coaching fundamentally a skillset, or is it an expression of who we are at our core?
We explore how coaching can be seen as an external activity, a profession where we learn models, techniques and structures to support people with their goals. Coaching becomes the thing we do to make a living, with our craft built through continuous learning and development.
At the same time, coaching can also be deeply rooted in how we naturally move through the world. When curiosity, deep listening and a desire to understand others feel instinctive, coaching may feel like an extension of our identity rather than a role to step into.
We reflect on our own journey, where coaching felt like who we were before it became what we did. We share that, learning the skills came first, which then enabled us to identity as a coach to grow. We’ve seen so many coaches discover coaching in both directions, and neither path is more valid or successful than the other.
We also discuss the reality that coaching evolves over time. As our coaching maturity develops, our presence deepens. The identity a coach holds today will not be the same identity they hold in ten years. Coaching can grow with us as our practice and confidence expand.
And crucially, coaches are human beings first. There can be pressure when we over-identify with the coach role. We talk openly about releasing the expectation to embody our coach persona in every moment of life, especially when parenting, navigating stress, or juggling the many facets of running a business.
This episode is an invitation to reflect, stretch your thinking, and recognise that both identity and action shape what it means to coach. You don’t need a definitive answer. Sometimes the power lies in the exploration itself.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Why we’re asking: is coaching who you are or what you do?
00:53 – Defining coaching as a skillset and profession
02:24 – Coaching as identity and a way of being
03:46 – How coaches find their path into coaching
05:12 – Innate qualities vs trained skills
07:03 – Coaching styles, diversity and inclusivity
09:16 – Presence and how it shapes our experience of coaching
10:11 – Over-identifying with the coach identity
12:26 – The energy and consciousness behind coaching
15:21 – Who gets to define what coaching is?
17:16 – Evolution of coaching practice and competencies
18:41 – Final reflections and invitation to explore coaching further
Key Lessons Learned:
- Coaching can be both a role we perform and a core part of who we are
- Skill development and personal identity evolve together in coaching practice
- No single pathway into coaching is more valid than another
- Over-identification with being a coach can limit our humanity
- Coaching continues to change and modernise as the profession matures
- Presence requires energy, awareness and skill, it is not a constant state
- The freedom to define your style is one of the greatest strengths of coaching
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